May 18, 2010
I was nothing but an “underachiever” and “Great Pretender” for 45 years, until I found my own dreams again.
To explain, I’ll begin at the beginning. Growing up in the isolated community of Thunder Bay on the North Shore of Lake Superior, I was near the top of my class in public school, and teachers pegged me as “college material”. But as soon as I hit high-school, I behaved like a spastic donkey amongst glossy race-horses. Flunking out, I ended up in a program that wouldn’t support any post-secondary education. Something had gone wrong for sure, but nobody had a clue what it was.
Even worse, the gregarious, sociable guy I used to be, disappeared off the face of the earth. I turned shy as a mouse bitten bad by traps. At least one guidance counsellor literally tore his hair out trying to figure me out. Apparently I had heaps of potential to achieve whatever I wanted. But I just wasn’t using it. Deep down I felt some kind of force holding me back, but had no idea what it was. I was one of those famous underachievers you read about, headed for decades of personal mediocrity. I had no idea what to do with my life, and it pained me greatly. My soul told me I shouldn’t be aimless, but it had no remedy. Then a chance meeting set me straight. Or so I thought.
Saved?
A friend of my Dad happened to be Dean of students at Canada’s Queen’s University at the time. One day I ran into him out at our summer cottage. As you might expect, he asked me what my career plans were. Clueless as a brain-dead aardvark, I admitted I had no idea and confided it bothered me big-time. He delivered his simple advice with such great confidence I remember it verbatim still. “You’re not supposed to know what to do with your life yet” said he, fixing me in his steely gaze. “Just pick a college course off the shelf, get it under your belt, and everything will work itself out”. For a brief moment I was confused by his message. After he left I stood there forever. Stunned. No wonder I didn’t know which way to go. I wasn’t supposed to. Wow.
What a revelation. I must say that my soul was not in agreement with the learned professor, but he was a learned professor after all, so days later I took his advice. Ignoring the gnawing feeling something was still wrong, I knuckled under and signed up for summer school. There I made up missing courses and entered college as a “mature student” the following semester. Two years later I transferred to Queen’s University myself and became an engineer. There was only one small problem with my newfound profession. I had zero interest in engineering, and far less aptitude. I’d only taken up that course of study to…… “let things work out”. Guess what? They didn’t.
It Didn’t Work Out
After graduation, I had no more idea what to do with my life than when I started. But by now I’d began to discover a sad fact. Most folks never know “what to do with their lives”. Instead they “Get-A-Good-Job”, wait for retirement, and die with regrets. My heart fiercely told me “jobs” should be in sync with who we are. But…sadly…. I didn’t know who I was. Now what? Frightened by this scary state of affairs, I continued to cling to the good professor’s advice for comfort. I told myself it would all “work itself out”……. if I just Got-A-Good-Job. So I did. Ten years later I’d aimlessly wandered up the corporate ladder. Right to the top.
Over the next twenty years I got fancy cars, big houses with acres, and a spouse out of touch with my soul. I felt like I’d taken a wrong turn somewhere and traveled many miles away from my destination. I was pretending to be something I wasn’t. In fact, my entire life was a lie. Bystanders probably thought I’d grabbed the brass ring and nailed it to my big Oak front door. But every fiber of my Body, Mind, and Soul was in pain from all the pretending. Thankfully, the hand of Fate was about to intervene.
Divine Intervention?
During all those years, it’s fair to say I was grossly unhappy times ten. I knew for sure I could really do something with my life……but I had no idea what. I felt like something was holding me back, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Struggling in agony to solve the puzzle of my joyless existence, I had several tantalizing insights…..but they didn’t add up to anything useful. In my head they sat for decades, like pieces of a jig-saw puzzle….… unassembled. Then one day by accident perhaps, they got shuffled around and came together. A brilliant white light was turned on in the pitch darkness. I discovered what happened to my own dreams and how to find them again. Armed with my own heartfelt desires, I had the courage to break away from my old life and begin anew, following a Vision of who I could be. Now I want to pass on what I learned to you. A very short story will illustrate what was revealed to me, but you’ll have to follow this blog to make it yours.
A Hidden Place
Imagine there’s a place “inside you” where your heart and soul lives. Your very own unique dreams of happy success are there too. The ones gurus could help you make true if you knew what they were. Answers to famous questions lurk there as well, like “who am I” and “what should I be doing with my life”. To say the least this “inner world” is a Treasure trove. But have you ever tried to “look within” to see these things? I did. I desperately tried one method after another for “knowing thyself”. Meditations. Secret wisdoms. Self-help. All kinds. And? I struck out every time. Now I know why.
The simple truth is this. That treasured inner place where your dreams live is absolutely and completely out of bounds. I can’t go there. Neither can you. Nobody has ever gone there. But it can come to us. Think of it this way. Imagine there’s a pipe in your head, going down into that inner place of potential where your real dreams reside. On top of the pipe is a tap. Maybe you can’t go down the pipe to find your heart’s desires. But you can get your hands on the tap. If you learn how to open the tap, all that good stuff I mentioned above flows out. It works just like any everyday water faucet. This blog will show you the tap and how to twist it wide open. Now I want you to stop and think about something. If you have no idea what to do with your life….the tap is closed. If you’ve been searching high and low for your life’s passion…..it isn’t out there. It’s “inside” you. But that pesky valve is nailed shut and the passion won’t come out. If you’ve tried one self-help course after another, with little success, it’s not because the advice is bad. It’s because you don’t have anything to work with. Your dreams are locked up “inside” you. And the doggone gate is shut. In short, it’s not possible to find what you’re looking for, whether real success or soul mate…..without opening that tap.
With your permission, I’d now like to try and scare you into following me with a little fact. Here it is. If you don’t learn how to open the tap, a surprise will be waiting for you at the end of it all. One fateful day as you draw your last breath, something will be revealed to you with stunning clarity. You missed the life you were put here to have.
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